Hi... I need some advice and prayers. Jim's mom called him on Saturday and after making some small talk, she asked if she needed to, would Jimmie come get her and bring her to our house to live. She was diagnosed with emphysema a few years ago and she has never smoked a day in her life. Her husband Dwayne is a chain smoker and refuses to smoke outside of the house. So she is continually taking in second hand smoke. The doctors told her recently that she has the lung capacity of someone who smokes 2 packs a day. This is but one example of what a "swell" guy her husband is. It's not been a secret to Jimmie and me that she has been miserable for a while. She has other health issues, such as severe arthritis that would prevent her from working enough to be able to support herself independently. So it seems moving out on her own is not an option.
Jimmie told her that he would come get her once and if she went back she was on her own. She has not made that call yet but just the fact that she is asking has got me and Jimmie talking and brainstorming (not to mention arguing) about what would happen if she made that call. While I understand that it is his mother and she needs help and he feels the need to help her, I know that if she came to live in our house, it would probably not be temporary and I would be absolutely miserable and that's not fair to me either. Especially with Jimmie's job and how he travels sometimes... just not a good thing. However, I know other people move their inlaws in their home without batting an eye so I a part of me feels extremely selfish... but then again, I shouldn't be made to feel miserable in my home... we have a big house... but it ain't that big!
The other problem it would create would be that if she were to move in, we'd have one less room to use for foster children... but then again, we're all about helping the needy right now and she is needy... argh...
So I'm writing to you all to first of all, vent my frustration at this situation that may or may not occur; second to ask that you all pray with us about this situation; and third if you have any advice or sage wisdom to offer, I'd love to hear it.
Thanks in advance for the prayers!!
1 month ago
3 comments:
I have no advice. I see your point.....and you and Jimmie are at a time in your life where you want to foster kids and this might put a damper on that. That's one thing you might want to consider also...how comfortable would the state want to put children in your home if you're taking care of an elderly woman.
For her to ask, means something, but for Jimmie to say that if she goes back, he won't do it again and she hasn't jumped yet means something bigger to me. Sounds like maybe she wants to make a point to her husband, but she'll run back if he makes her any promises. That's something she needs to figure out.
You and Jimmie have to seriously sit down and talk....because if she says "come get me", he's already made the offer that he will. Remember the "leave your mother and father and become one"...you have to agree on this....100%.
I will be praying for you! I don't envy you at all...but I love ya!
Lots of Love (and tons of prayers)!
Funny that I had "no advice" but could write so much, huh? lol!
Lots of Love!
I completely echo what Kelley said. This is a decision you both have to agree on and it's a big one! How about I pray that you don't get that call? :)
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