Whats up with that

This is why I endure pain… cuz I don’t like to go to the doctors and hospitals and have tests ran and drink the yucky stuff that makes your innards light up all pretty for the camera…. Can I whine for a bit? I’ve been having what the doctor has said is probably scar tissue issues in my lower abdomen since my surgery in 2009. Did you ever see Marley and Me? The dog dies toward the end from his stomach or intestines twisting I think. That’s what my pain feels like. It feels exactly like my intestine or some other body part that ain’t supposed to move, twisting or pinching. When it happens, the pain hits like a tidal wave and I almost feel like the wind gets knocked out of me… I have to get up and stretch and twist and walk around… a few more tidal waves of pain and then eventually whatever moved out of place goes back in to place and it’s over… it happens at random times... and very inconvenient times. It happened when I tried to lay on a raft in the water in Cozumel, it happened when I tried to sit down in our pool while we were filling it, it happened once when I was sitting on the porch minding my own business, more than once it has happened in the bathroom when I’m twisting to wipe my bottom. It happened last year at family reunion when I coughed too hard. It happened once when I was riding in the car and I sneezed. I can plainly remember almost every time it has happened because the pain is that bad. In the moment, I think about calling an ambulance or having someone drive me to the emergency room but I know that the episode will last less than five minutes, although in the middle of it I wonder if I’ll ever not be in pain again.


So I went to the doctor yesterday for my check up and complained about it once again. Actually, I have a friend who recently had surgery for a hernia so I was asking her what her hernia pain felt like. By the way, her hernia was caused from a previous surgery. The pain she described was very similar to my pain so I suggested to the doctor yesterday that maybe I have a hernia. She said that scar tissue should be healing by now so maybe we should do a ct scan to see if it is a hernia. So Friday I get to go have that done, drink two bottles of contrast, which is NOT delicious one bit. I told Jimmie last night this is why I didn’t want to complain about the pain because I’m just not ready to go through a bunch of tests again. Although this time, I’m pretty sure they aren’t going to poke around and find cancer, it just feels like a much too familiar road to be going down.

Anyway… thanks for letting me whine a bit… I love to journal for this reason… it really makes me feel better to get stuff off my chest. Also, if someone reads this maybe they could say a little prayer for me real quick too… that would be so wonderful! Thanks!

We are going camping again this weekend… LOVE our camper and LOVE going camping! Course, we’re not roughing it by any means and it’s pretty bad when picking out a camping spot we have to keep in mind the satellite dish and where it can be set up… lol

The kiddos are doing well. There is still this slim glimmer of a possibility that ugh I can’t even really say it because it just doesn’t seem real… and it makes me bitter really to even mention it. But their birth father, who was reportedly deported back to Mexico, has contacted the powers that be, and they have now had a conference call with him and he desires that his children come back to Mexico to live with him. So right now a hearing is scheduled for November to terminate parental rights but this is a new development and not really something that anyone has encountered before so things are just sort of up in the air. Even though it should be clear to everyone involved that, putting aside what any of the adults want in this situation, it would be extremely stressful and detrimental to the development of these little ones to be once again pulled out of the only stable home environment they’ve known and grown comfortable with over the last year and a half. We are of course hoping the judge recognizes that and says too little too late… but it’s completely out of our hands and that’s the hardest part. We really have absolutely no control over this situation… so we’ll be sitting on pins and needles at least until November, if the hearing happens then... we’ll see…



Anyway… in the meantime, Matthew has had straight smiley faces in preschool this year! It is Fall Break this week. We told him if he got straight smiley faces through Fall Break he would get a big prize and he wanted a DS. So Sunday I gave him the DS that I won on Ebay. He’s had fun playing with that. Neither Jim nor I know how to work it so he’ll have to figure it out on his own but he seems to like it so far. He did get in trouble on the school bus a few weeks ago but hopefully we’ve lectured him enough that that won’t happen again.

Cali is a DIVA. Lawd have mercy. When I dropped her off at daycare yesterday morning, I told them that she had been a HOLY TERROR all morning so good luck with that…. Yesterday when we got home, she started the tantrums etc. all over again so I took her to her room and we had a nice long calm talk about not throwing tantrums etc. and the rest of the evening was actually pretty peaceful. Potty training… number 1 is conquered for the most part but she is being extremely stubborn about number 2. I actually am thinking that she just doesn’t know exactly how to control that end yet. The other night in the bathtub she discovered too late that she had to go and you could see the panic on her face. She actually stood up and called for me but it was too late… she cried and I consoled her while bleaching everything in sight. I’m a little OCD with the number 2. I actually threw away a bathtub doll that was in there because I just knew there was no way to get all the poop germs out of the dolls hair… and all the other little places that water can go in the doll… in my mind it was just crawling with germs…

Me and Jimmie are just plugging along. We celebrate our 15 year anniversary this week! It’s hard to believe in some ways but in other ways it does feel like we have been together forever… can’t imagine my life without that man o mine actually… God really knew what He was doing when He brought us together…. And I’m so thankful for my husband and our marriage.


This seems like a great place to end this entry… thanks for reading!