Warning: I sort of go off the deep end toward the end of this entry.... lol

Facebook is nice and all but I do miss the personalness of actually blogging... I get sooo sidetracked by all the quizzes and crap on Facebook before ya know it it's like 2 hours later! lol

Anyway... I thought I'd plunk out an actual journal entry... seems few and far between these days.

First of all let me just say, and I know for a fact that I speak for almost anyone reading this, my heart has just been so heavily burdened for our sister Sara and her whole family. And I again ask the rhetorical question of why in the world that the pain of losing a loved one has to be a part of this life... I know we won't know the answer to that one til we get to heaven, but my mind just went to Jesus and the obvious pain and grief he felt when he was weeping for his dear friend Lazarus. He was so upset over Lazarus' death that He brought him back to life for one last hurrah. Oh that we had that healing power in our hands so that we could say everything we meant to say when our loved ones were alive. If we've gleaned anything from Sara's experience it is absolutely to cherish every moment with your loved ones because we aren't guaranteed the next moment let alone another day.

I know I'm joining many other hearts in praying for Sara and her family over the next several weeks and months. Such a special heart, that Sara has!

So how to transition to life's more mundane details when someone we love is struggling with a much weightier issue.... lol

we still do not have any children at our house and it's kind of a bummer... we did meet a little boy a few weeks ago who will be available for adoption soon but the personailties of him and Jimmie just did not mesh at all... so we're still awaiting the right little ones to walk through our door... it's really hard to wait on the Lord, but that is absolutely where we are at.

There's a couple that goes to our church who Jimmie and I have grown quite fond of. About 5 or 6 years ago... it was right around the time we started attending our church, their 20 year old son was out late one night, drinking with friends, and he and his best friend (they'd been best friends since they learned how to walk practically) got into a fight. The fight ended with their son being killed, stabbed to death by his best friend... extremely tragic.

Jimmie and I have talked about them before and actually we talka nd pray about them quite often... I just can't imagine their grief. And really, it's as if they lost two sons that day because you know they had to feel for the friend as if he were a son and now they hate him and he's in prison. And can you imagine how he feels? Killing his best friend? agh... anyway, the reason I share that story is this: sometimes when we're talking about our desires to have kids, there are times when I really really want them and then there are other parts of me that doesn't want to open up my heart like that because what if... ya know? But of course, I'm not going to let that stop us from keeping up the search for our forever family...

So I'm ultra excited about the cousin's trip to Women of Faith in April... sometimes I get to thinking about it and just get so giddy! lol...

Another thing that I'm counting down the days to (and I have my sister to thank for this latest obsession in my life... I was perfectly fine to ignore the bandwagon but she got me to jump on the wagon and I actually think I might be driving the wagon now. It's sort of embarassing really... I try not to talk about it as much as I'm thinking about it cuz if people really realized how completely OBSESSED I am, ya'll would really think I might have lost touch with reality... lol!) what was I saying anyways? Oh yeah... sometime at the end of March some movie is coming out on DVD that is based on the first of series of four books or something like that... Twilly.. Sunset? what's it called.... lol. oh yeah... TWILIGHT...

another lady at work mentioned a while back that she had read the book and I hadn't at that time so she was alone in her love of the book but I told her the other day that I'd jumped on the band wagon and so she wants to plan a Twlight DVD party lol...

so the book are really thick books right... I mean I'd say they are at least 500 - 600 pages each... and I read all 4 in a little less than 2 weeks... I'm currently re-reading the first one. I think it's the characters... this author has created these amazing characters and she just really captures that, I dunno, that completely fabulous essence of all the wonderful little butterfly feelings you have when you are innocently falling completely and madly in love for the first time (even if it is with a vampire lol).

I was intrigued to begin reading the books because Missy, who has never been a fan of fantasy-style books or movies, was so taken with the books. If you have lived under a rock and know nothing of Twilight, allow me to fill you in... it's about vampires. That much I knew and when Missy said she was so into the books I was completely surprised. So I began reading... and obsessing... and dreaming about the character.... and I can't stop...it's utterly and completely ridiculous! lol... it's worse than when I saw Moulin Rouge for the first time... I even went online to the author's website and she has part of another book that she was writing uploaded on her sight. She was apparently either writing to create another book from a different character angle or just like developing the character and somehow that portion got leaked and people started passing it around... at any rate... I spent a day reading 264 pages online of a partial book... I'm telling you it's so ridiculous... I'm contemplating erasing this entry it's pretty embarassing.... lol... can anyone remotely relate? Please tell me I not the only one to loose my mind over a book! lol

I'll shoosh now before someone thinks to have me committed...

I really need to go to lunch anyways... and read...

lol... kidding... I do need to go to lunch though... happy tuesday!