Howdy!

Lawdy lawdy.... I haven't journaled in a WHILE and I got stuff to share so hold on to your hats folks cuz it's gonna be a whirlwind trip through my life lo the last few months.... where in the world to start...

Christmas was soooo much fun... it was weird on Christmas Eve because we were like some of the first to leave and we are usually the last to leave but we were determined to have our first Christmas morning with little kids in our home. And it was SO worth the effort... although I really missed breakfast with my sister and her wacky family. But I made breakfast casserole and played the role of "we have to wait for mommy to brush her teeth and get her coffee before we can open presents". My mom always did that... we were ever waiting on her to open presents, so I did my part to recreate that for my kids lol.

Matthew ripped and tore his way through his loot and Cali delicately tore tiny pieces of paper off her presents and then asked for help.... it was just precious and treasurable and everything I imagined...very special memories for sure. After breakfast we put on coats and went out to the barn because daddy had special presents there... Jimmie made the kids a gianormous barn... not for them to actually get in but as a home for all the tractors they have and the way too many more that Santa brought them... yes that's right, Santa visited our barn as well...

Anyway that was fun and special and I can't wait to do it again next year! lol

So here's a general recap of some things I want to share about...

Our church.It's having issues.... blah... I don't know if I journaled about this but a year or so ago someone, a coward if I might, wrote an anonimous (I think I'm spelling that wrong) letter to a lady in the choir that she should quit singing because she was flat and loud and ruined the whole choir. Um Rude much. Anyway that brave lady didn't quit the choir and in fact this year in the Christmas cantata she did a solo... I think that took guts and courage and I was proud of her. So anyway.. the anonimous letter writer wasn't done... not sure if the same lovely person who wrote to the choir lady wrote to the preacher, but the preacher recieved an anonimous letter that stated that 30% of the church wanted him gone and didn't think he was doing the church any good because of his singing ministry and blah blah blah.... again.. so brave to not sign the letter right... so anyway jimney Christmas... there's just this like dying spirit in our church right now. The youth leaders are stepping down but our church hasn't really had the strongest youth ministry for a while. And our Sunday School teacher started building his own house last year so he quit and then several people stopped coming to Sunday School. We had a great SS class with great discussions until then... Preacher P's sermons are still great but I'm honestly just so bored at church... I really like to sing hymns and praise and worship music but our church is a hymns only kind of church which would be fine if people sang like they meant it but it's like they are singing at a funeral... I'm just very discouraged with our church and so we've been visitng other churches. For the last 2 Sundays we've gone to a more modern church with a great children's program and the service felt alive too. They sang worship music and Jimmie was tolerating it... BUT this past Sunday at the close of the service, the pastor's wife got up to advertise a service they are having this week and to put it bluntly, Jimmie and I, particularly Jimmie, were FREAKED. Anytime you hear "It will be a safe place to worhsip" you have to wonder. Now, in my past I've been to churches where in the worship service they get pretty in to it... like using a "prayer language" (tongues) and being slain in the Spirit etc. and when I was attending those kind of churches I was sort of comfortable around all that but since then I've had a chance to ponder it and those kind of services just aren't for me and I'm not at all sure how biblical they are. And as far as Jimmie is concerned they may as well have annnounced that they would be handling snakes... SO... we're once again on the church hunt... please keep us in your prayers.... I've been doing a lot of thinking and pondering lately and I'm not sure if I'm running from committing myself to take over some of the youth ministry at our church or if that is just where my heart and interest is or what.... but ideally if I were to do the youth ministry I'd want Jimmie to play a big role in that too and he has zero interest... so there's that... we need some lifting up in prayer. I told Jimmie I'm to the point where I'd almost rather not go than to go to our church it's just soooo boring... Is that horrible?

Austin....oh snap... teenagers blah! So Jimmie is putting concrete in the back section of his barn. A guy from church is doing a lot of the work and Jimmie contacted Austin to see if he'd like to make a little extra money by working on the project too. So he came over a few weeks ago for the first time since he left our house. And it was great to see him. The kids were really happy to see him too. He was also asking us to go get Hannah and I said no because I just wasn't ready for all THAT, ya know... plus he was visiting with us and if she were there number 1, he wouldn't keep working, and number 2 they'd just be looking for a place to go make out. So no... one thing he did though sent a message to me loud and clear. When he lived with us, he was not allowed to use tobacco products, chew or smoke and he chewed the whole time he was here. To me, the message was about still not respecting us and our rules. Last Saturday he did the same. Apparently he also smoked too. Now don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with people smoking on my property but to me it was a message. Anyway so after they were done working, Jimmie and I were taking Austin, Hannah, Matthew and Cali out to eat at Cheddars. We had to take 2 cars. me and the Littles went shopping for a bit and then we met Jimmie, Austin and Hannah at Cheddars. There was a 30 minute wait so we had time to kill. When I got there with the Littles, Jimmie was by himself. I asked where the teenagers were and he said he went to the bathroom and when he came back they were gone so he figured they went out to his truck. Jimmie went outside and came back in with Hannah. So we were chit chatting and then Jimmie got a TEXT from Austin that said, "Let me know when you all are done eatin". What the crap?? Who does that? wow. So Jimmie went out to see what was up and just a short time later he came back in to get Hannah to take the teenagers home. Right then our buzzer went off that our table was ready. So I was faced with a dilemma of taking the table and having a sit down dinner with my toddlers (love them but no thank you lol) or split too. I opted to split and me and the Littles went to Chickfila.... when we got home I got the story from Jimmie. Apparently the teenagers had a fight. Jimmie had paid Austin like $70.00 for the work. Austin gave Hannah, his pregnant teenage girlfriend, like $20.00 of it and was going to buy pot with the rest of it. Hannah was mad because Austin was supposed to have quit and she is making all the sacrifices and he's not.... blah blah blah... whatever.... it hurt Jimmie's feelings big time and he's once again washed his hands of him (although Austin was here today and Jimmie had to take him home). I also found out through Austin telling Jimmie that one time when I had busted Austin for smoking cigarettes, he was actually smoking pot.... I cried because I felt so dumb and gullible.
but anyway... we were once again reminded that we did the right thing and how happy peaceful and drama free our lives have been since mid-August when Austin left our home.

Well... umm... I've gotten distracted because I'm also watching American Idol. Loving the new judges by the way... but I'm big fans of Steven Tyler and JLo.... and personally, I'd have trouble talking in the same room as them let alone singing for them lol but it definately has a more laid back vibe than all the Simon drama we've endured.... it will be interesting to see how they deal with Steven's potty mouth when they go live though... I've noticed the first night anyway they had to bleep him quite a bit... lol

Well I've rambled quite a bit for now so I think I'll end this post... I'll try to post more often... glad to read some of your updates too!!

I think I haven't journaled about one more thing... the baby... the half-brother of Matthew and Cali. We did not get him. The mother went through a private adoption agency so he went to a couple in New York who were willing to reimburse the mother for some medical expenses and living expenses and other expenses. Jimmie keeps saying she sold the baby, which I guess in theory she legally did.... I'm just sad that Matthew and Cali will have a sibling out there somewhere and not know where he is. But she is young and will most likely breed again so there will be others I'm sure... oh wait... I do remember journaling about that now because I also shared that we are now on the road to adopt Matthew and Cali... so that is going to be an ultra slow process because they have to find Cali's birth certificate and apparently no one knows how to order a copy of a birth certificate for someone born in a tiny little town in Mexico...

Oh well... love my babies whether they are legally and officially mine or not... I will just feel more comfortable and at ease when it is finally all final. We are not done though! I think Cali needs a sister and Matthew needs a brother... Jimmie thinks I'm nuts lol

ok signing off yall.... peace and love baby!