Really Random Ramblings....

Where to begin… I have so much running through my head these days. I want to write it all down somewhere, I want to post some of it so I can share stuff… life is a trip.
 It truly is. Bear with me. I am on a weird train of thought. I don’t like to think about death. I just don’t. Particularly my death. I don’t want to die. As a Christian that probably sounds like blaspheme. I mean, I know Jesus lives in my heart and I will go to Heaven and be with Him but it’s the unknown of all that and maybe the concept that I will be alone with that unknown, although I should know that I won’t be alone. And will I be me? Will I know who I am? Or will the earthly me just fall asleep and never be conscience of anything else…. This is why I don’t like to think about death because then all these thoughts creep in and maybe that’s the devil making me freak about stuff I shouldn’t even be worried about…. Ok here is what brought on that tangent…



Two weeks ago a very dear friend from my high school days had a sudden heart attack and died. She was 41. She had a husband and a teenage daughter who I met when I went to the visitation. All these old memories came flooding back to me in the days following the news that she had passed away. I’ve always regretted the part about life where people come in to your life and you want to keep them forever but then life shuffles everyone around and boom they’re gone or you’re gone. There are times in life where you just want to freeze the clock and stay there in those moments, days, happy times forever. I used to want to go and live in a big place with all my Port William church family. I just enjoyed being there in that time so much. But then the clock moves on, the days the years, life does its thing and all of a sudden you haven’t spoken to those people you wanted to keep forever in years. Life is weird like that.


Here’s another weird thing. I have been reading in Matthew and I never realized that there were two fish and loaves incidents back to back. Also, this was weird. They came to a town and someone asked Jesus about paying local taxes so Jesus told Peter to go down and catch a fish and the fish would have coins in his mouth that Peter should take to pay for Jesus and himself. Now why did He do that? That’s kinda weird… lol (Matt 17:24-27)


Well this is not at all what I had planned on posting about and I know it is not the happiest and most upbeat of posts, but I think I am done typing for now.


I will leave you with a funny… they are learning about money and apparently Presidents in Matthew’s preschool class right now. He told me last night that all the guys on the money are dead. He said George Washington is dead. He was a very very nice man but now he is dead and someone else took his job. He said Thomas Jefferson is also dead. Where did he live? He was very impressed when I told him that I had been to his house. I think he imagined I had had dinner with Mr. Jefferson lol. He told me that he was also a good man. He also told me Abraham Lincoln is dead. I love my smart little boy!